I got a little sidetracked looking for ways to get the effects of exercise without actually doing it. My brain has been stuck on the concept of endorphins and how they are commonly theorized to produce feelings of euphoria, well-being, and/or happiness from exercise, among other things.
I think physiology or God got it backwards. I think endorphins should be naturally occurring, without external causation, at all times. Because then I would have the feelings of euphoria, well-being, etc. that I need to keep exercising through the overpowering urge to nap out of the sheer boredom of it.
Aside: When I imagine what endorphins look like, I see a school of dolphins laughing and jumping and splashing around in my blood. Because “endorphin” looks like “endolphin.”
Then I find out through my extensive research (one reference in Wikipedia, my favorite source of fast, sometimes accurate information about all things) that there is another naturally occurring feel-good thingamajig that may even be better than endorphins — endocannabinoids. Big word for the naturally-occurring chemical that interacts with the brain deeliebob that causes the marijuana high.
Confession … I do know from experience what the marijuana high is, at least the marijuana high in the olden days, when a lid (ounce baggie) cost about $10, c. 1973 or so. I don’t know what the quality was then, but that, rolling papers, a bus ticket to the Santa Cruz Beach and Boardwalk, a pair of well broken in guaraches, puka shells around my neck, turquoise and silver dangling from my ear lobes, a couple dozen chocolate, peanut butter and oatmeal gunk cookies, and my best friends along was the finest living my 16-year old self could wish for.
Endocannabinoids are involved in the “reward system of the body, controlling the rewards for both exercise and consuming of dessert.” This makes sense to me. The body rewards itself by feeling good, and doesn’t care whether the good feeling comes from a good work-out or a Twinkie.
So, connecting the endorphin-endocannabinoid dots, it seems to me that I all I need to do is eat some cake or pie while visualizing myself on my horse or a treadmill. Since I’m “high” from the cake/pie, my body thinks it really is exercising and in response burns calories and builds lean muscle and loses fat. This then causes my body to jump-start some endorphins. Which also make me high.
Summary: Eat cake –> get high —> lose fat –> get high again. Far out.
Another aside: Yes, it does occur to me that I could spend less time dabbling in science and more time on my horse.