this is sort of like remedial decorating — or me-redecorating — or something.
for the past few months i have been working on my cosmetic fixer of a home. well, it was advertised as a cosmetic fixer when I bought it 17 years ago. since then, in the entire 17 years, i have pretty much done nothing toward any fixing, cosmetic or otherwise, except paint a few walls and replace two rooms-worth of crawly-thing-and-dirt-haven carpet with laminate.
so now, a real estate ad for my home would probably describe it as cosmetic fixer of a house-corpse-in-full-rigor, laid out on the autopsy table badly in need of removal and/or rearrangement of its smelly and crawly insides.
i am determined to keep this house until I myself am beyond life as we know it. so something must be done before i get so fed up with the beyond-shabby (and sans chic) ambience that i will skip the house autopsy altogether and go straight to cremation.
part of the reason for not doing much with the house is that i am afraid of tools and hardware. aka “not mechanically-inclined”. or, more accurately, mechanically-a-danger-to-myself-and-any-nearby-misfortunates …
… so much so that it takes an Act of God for me to replace a burnt out lightbulb. it takes a whole separate Act of God for me to buy new lightbulbs to replace the burnt-out ones. which happens after yet another whole separate A of G – cowboying me to the grocery store.
these Acts must be way low on God’s priority list considering the state of my home’s present light bulb operational readiness. which is Not. which is OK. because too much light hurts my eyes. and i have a miner’s headlamp when i need to see something.
i kid you not. meet my favorite light source.
i console myself for this lack of mechanical/hardware skill by reminding myself of my nice penmanship, which requires knowledge and application of pens and inks. which are sort of tools, and i am not afraid of them.
and i can use a sewing machine. i am not afraid of fabric or thread. as long as I just have to sew straight lines, like for quilts. Quilts don’t scare me either, unless I am trying to finish one as a gift in a hurry, like two months after its birthday deadline.
next up … part 2