On my planet, effective procrastination is an art form. Not only am I Queen, I am also the Head Lady Of Waiting. Putting off things I should do now until later gives me the freedom to do now the things I want to do now. Voila. Instant gratification.
This is why I own a Honda, the most forgiving kind of car there is. I can put off the servicing appointments until I find a few extra Saturday hours to wait in the dealership’s lobby and wonder if the stale popcorn in their popcorn machine is worth the guilt I will pack on for eating it.
Procrastination is one key reason why I keep extra weight around. I wait to eat until I’ve skidded past the merely hungry state and slid headlong into the totally ravenous state, fully capable of eating like a hog. Or just eating a hog.
It is why I don’t have a solid financial picture. Why I buy instead of shop, and why I prefer on-line buying to driving to some brick-and-mortar place where you have to find a parking spot, then walk to a store, then walk some more to find what you want to buy and then mingle with people who like go shopping. Who give me the heebie jeebies.
… Why finding clothes to wear to work is a daily trip to the Twilight Zone. Since I wait until I absolutely must get dressed to locate work-worthy clothing, which naturally could not be hanging up in the closet, already pressed and ready to wear.
… Why I have a great horse instead of a nice kitchen. While I was thinking about how to avoid shopping for a way-past-due kitchen remodel, Mo the horse came up for sale.
… Why I have an enormous, gorgeous collection of cotton fabric for quilting, and only one enormous, gorgeous completed quilt.
… Why the sheriff deputy stopped me because of expired registration on my car. When I had the current registration and tag buried in a pile of about two weeks of mail laying on the passenger side floor. Which, incidentally, is why I now own two USPS tote baskets — the USPS guys give them to you as a prize for going all the way to the post office to pick up the pile of mail that gained too much weight to fit in your mail box.
I am not a doer by nature. I am a thinker. I think first, do later. Preferably never. This type of wiring means that first I must think about what needs to be done until I have thought it through fully and I have convinced myself that yes, it does need to be done.
Next, I write out a to-do list. First a draft, and then a final version. In calligraphy script. This allows me some more time to think about what needs to be done, and I get the instant gratification of seeing my words in pretty lettering.
Next, I make a to-buy list of the items I need to buy to do what I need to do. Since, naturally, I never have what I need on hand, since, naturally, I don’t buy more stuff just because I ran out of it. I buy more stuff some weeks or months after the need initially presents itself and just before the need blows up into a screaming catastrophe.
I think about this now because I’m out feeding the ranch this morning and double-checking my to-do list of winter chores that still need to be done. Thinking I can wait until spring to do them. Which means they might get done next fall.
Instantly gratified, I head out to ride Mo.
