3. Eat 3 or so small meals per day (plus breakfast)
To accomplish this, I must have a Program consisting of menus made up of healthy and delicious food choices. Perhaps recipes to build my own food choices. Then I have to make grocery lists of ingredients. And go to the grocery store and buy them. And cook them. All or any of which flies in the face of all of the Instant Gratification for which I stand.
Which program to follow? Surely there is a magic program for me that will be easy to stick to, with decent food choices like Mexican food and croissants and linguine and sticky white rice and the occasional frosted brownie with ice cream. Most importantly, it will feature super-fast weight loss results without any physical activity other than that required for food prep and consumption.
First, let’s refresh my memory of past pop-culture-diet experiences, so that in the future I will be able to recognize history repeating itself:
1. Weight Watchers, 1982.
2. Jenny Craig, early 90s.
3. Atkins-ish low carb, 2002.
4. Nutrisystem, 2006.
5. Medi-Fast, 2011.
6. Sensa, 2011.
7. The 6-Week Body Makeover, 2011.
You can see that Year 2011, compared to prior years, was fairly productive for me in terms of the number of different recipients of the hard-earned income I handed over in exchange for sheer crap. In fact, it was my second best year ever. The first best was the year that I got captured by eBay and made the prisoner of numerous amateur auctioneers trafficking in the Collectibles>Entertainment Memorabilia>Movie Memorabilia>Westerns>B-Westerns of the -30s and -40s>Singing Cowboys>Roy Rogers and Trigger category.
Next, whittle the list down to What Worked Or Is Most Likely To:
1. Atkins-ish low carb: A fairly easy and painless weight loss of about 20 lbs, helped along by daily gym workouts and the natural appetite-suppressing effects of domestic violence. (more on that later)
2. The 6-Week Body Makeover: 6 small meals per day, lean protein and green veggies, a little bit of fruit and some starchy vegetables allowed, some whole grain. Plus a targeted exercise plan with a companion over-the-door-hanging exercise device that could double as movie prop in an S&M murder scene. I liked this program. The food allowed on it sounded like what I typically eat anyway. And it came with a free toy. So I ordered it. And would have started it except that it conveniently arrived the week before Thanksgiving.
My analysis complete, I think I’m ready to pick my program and get going. But I need to set some ground rules first.